They like me...they really like me...

Actress Sally Fields said these or very similar words after winning an Academy Award. I am at a point in my life right now where I feel like I can understand what she meant.

Although I am fully grown, there are times I wonder, "Are they really my friend?", "Can I trust them?", "Should I be doing all I am for them...does it matter, are they using me, do they appreciate it?"

Many of these things seem childish and immature to me as I type them...but I can't lie, my heart hurts sometimes when I am really feeling any of the above. I would say at least 90% of the time I can "talk myself down" and get myself in check pretty quickly, or at least after talking with Joe about my feelings.

My biggest struggle is not changing who I am because I am feeling these things. Not easy right? Luckily life has taught me things and for the most part I am who I am no matter what. It is certainly harder on some days - but as I look back on my life I hope I will be able to say that I did not lower my own personal standards based on the way someone treated me. I also hope I don't look back and feel like I was a door mat either.

Happy Birthday Little, I Mean Super Medium Joe

At this exact moment (7:57 am) 9 years ago my baby came into the world. It was quite an entrance and he has been responsible for remarkable moments and memories ever since. It is my prayer that his faith and heart stay exactly the way they are today. For a young child he is unbelievably intune with peoples emotions and feelings and the kind of person God wants him to be. He sits each week listening to Pastor Steven preach and when we get in the car he can have a full out conversation with you about the message. And months later he will go right back to something that moved him and start talking about it again or use it in context with what is going on in his life. He is "age appropriate" and doesn't try to be all grown-up. He loves to soak up the moment and take it all in. Everyday I am thankful for the son that God chose for me...and I do my best to let Joseph know how much he means to me and how blessed I feel to be his mom. Joseph - I hope you have the best birthday and that you live life on your terms and remain true to who you are. I love you!!!

Dedication

Last weekend I had the honor and privilege of chaperoning Danielle and three other girls from her dance studio, along with the studio owner, on a trip to Atlanta, GA for a dance convention. The girls teacher feels that conventions are very important as you get exposed to different teaching styles and different choreography. The convention was open to all the dancers in the studio and these 4 girls made the trip. (The entire studio attended a convention here in Charlotte back in the fall) I was so impressed by the behavior, manners and really just the way the other three girls carried themselves while away from their families. When we returned home I made sure to e-mail all of the other mothers and let them know how well their girls represent their parents and upbringing. Another thing I was totally impressed by was the dedication and determination shown not just by the girls we traveled with...but by at least 90% of the dancers that were at this convention. Conventions are very different than competitions in that no one is "there to win." Everyone is there to learn and better themselves. All the kids were working hard, cheering each other on, complimenting each other and basically just doing what they love. Watching a room filled several hundred dancers all between the ages of 11-14 learning choreography from some of the biggest names in the dance world was so cool for me. When they all get the dance and start doing it together it is like a "flash mob" and I loved it!!! As I was watching all weekend I was also thinking that these kids have amazing dedication to dance. It is something the truly love and want to do. Danielle is at dance about 5 times a week and she never, ever says "I don't want to go." Joe and I are impressed watching her learn time management with school and homework so that she doesn't have to miss dance. As she gets older not only will the time management be a great tool in life for her...but as her parents knowing where she is and who she is with will provide great piece of mind. Here are a few shots from our weekend:

The Pulse On Tour - convention we attended Michaels, Danielle, Naijha and Bria on the first morning...ready to go Michaela and Danielle

Naijha and Bria

Mother/Daughter Shot

Danielle and Naijha

Checking in with Charlotte

Bria, Tyce Diorio, Danielle Naijha and Michaela

Let the little children come to me...

Mark 10:14 says "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."

Joe and I have been blessed for years to be surrounded by children who we love. As you know we have 2 of our own, Danielle (11) and Joseph (8), and then we have many others in our life who we love with all of our hearts.

All of these children have brought us happiness, sadness (when they were hurting) and even tears (both of joy and pain) but our lives are so much richer for it. When Joe and I reflect on some of our favorite memories of our times together (24 years of dating and marriage now) 90% of them include these children. We surrounded ourselves with babies, toddlers and small children long before we had kids of our own...it was something we loved to do - and we still do.

Now we have teenagers, pre-teens, young kids, toddlers and babies to spend time with...nothing puts a smile on my face quicker than our yard being full of kids all playing together and having a good time.

God has been very good to us by continually letting the little children come to us.

Here is our newest addition...just a month shy of her first birthday.

Legacy of Love

Joe and I both got notes from Danielle at the dinner table on Valentine's Day. We BOTH were choked up and moved by what she wrote. Of course there is humor in the notes as well. Here is what they said:

5 Favorite Things About Dad

1. His sense of humor
2. Being the ultimate dance dad
3. The way we both sniffle
4. When you do the fist pump
5. The love and support to others

Dad - I love you so much no matter what happens don't forget that. Also, like I said, being the ultimate dance dad because most dad's don't take the time to sit at a dance competition but you never left and that means the world to me!

Love ya, Danielle


5 Favorite Things About Mom

1. Her great support
2. Her bond with her family
3. Her amazing love and care
4. That no matter what I do bad she will always forgive me
5. Her love and support to the Church and God

Mom - I love you with all my heart and no matter what ridiculous thing I am giving you an attitude about I am never really mad at you, I'm just being dumb and never forget that! Also mom that you for all your support with dance, you have NO idea how much I appreciate that also with school - you never say no when I ask you for help with homework and when ever I have something at school you are there!

Love ya, Danielle

As a parent my true hearts desire is for my legacy to be that "I was there" when Danielle or Joseph needed me. Could I have a higher powered position than the one I have at my current job, absolutely...but it would be at the expense of my family. I have one of the best bosses that a mother of two could ask for. He is flexible with me (and my co-workers) to the best of his ability and in turn we do not abuse that privilege. I want my kids to see me do for them and others with ease and joy...it is more important to me than "my title" at work or a higher salary.

I have one shot at being the best parent I can possibly be - and when my kids look back on their upbringing I want them to be able to say "my mom was there when..."

These notes meant the world to us...much more than anything store bought for sure!!!

Sissy Love

Continuing on with spreading the love yesterday...Joseph had this on Danielle's plate at dinner last night!!!

True Love

I woke up this morning and found this note taped to the mirror in my bathroom!!! What a great way to start my Valentine's Day. Lil Joe just called me to be sure I found it...a son with a good heart is truly a gift.

Game Day Dessert Recipe's

Peanut Butter Bars

1 Yellow Cake Mix
1 Cup Peanut Butter (creamy or super chunky)
1/2 Cup butter - melted
2 eggs
6oz Chocolate Chips
1/3 cup Sweetened Condensed Milk
2 Tbsp. butter
1 can coconut pecan icing

Combine cake mix, peanut butter, melted butter and eggs in a large bowl. Mix until well blended. Pat 2/3 of mixture into the bottom of a 9X13 pan and set aside. Next, Combine chocolate chips, sweetened condensed milk, butter and coconut pecan icing in a medium sauce pan and heat until chocolate chips are melted. Spread filling over mixture in pan. Place remaining 1/3 of batter on top of filling in lattice like fashion. Bake in 350 oven for 20 - 25 minutes.

Mudslide Brownies

Prep 20 min Cook 35 min

6 1 oz unsweetened chocolate baking squares

1/2 cup plus 2 TBSP unsalted butter, divided

1 cup granulated sugar 1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar

3 large eggs

4 tsp espresso powder, divided

2 TBSP plus 2 tsp coffee liqueur

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup chopped pecans, toasted

2 TBSP whipping cream or half and half

2 TBSP vodka

2 1/4 to 2 1/2 cups powdered sugar

Garnish (optional) chocolate-covered espresso coffee beans chopped

Melt 4 chocolate baking squares and 1/2 cup butter in a heavy saucepan over low heat, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat and transfer to a large bowl. Add sugars; stir well. Stir in eggs, 2 tsp, espresso powder, and 2 tsp coffee liqueur. Add flour and salt, stirring until blended. Stir in pecans.

Spread batter into a lightly greased alumunim foil-lined 13 x 9 pan. Bake at 325 degrees for 20-25 minutes or until brownies appear set on top. Cool completely in pan on a wire rack.

Melt remaining 2 chocolate baking squares and 2 TBSP butter in heavy saucepan, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat; transfer to a medium bowl. Stir in remaining 2 tsp. espresso powder, whipping cream, vodka and remaining 2 TBSP coffee liqueur. Add enough powdered sugar to make a good spreading consistency, beating at medium speed with an electric mixer until smooth. Spread frosting over cooled brownies; garnish, if desired. Let stand until frosting is set. Use foil to lift uncut brownies out of the pan. Cut into bars to serve. Yield: 3 dozen small or 1 dozen large.

Game Day Dip Recipe's

White Pizza Dip

1 Envelope of Lipton Savory Herb with Garlic Soup Mix

16 ounces of sour cream

8 ounces of ricotta cheese

1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese (4oz) divided

1/4 cup (1oz) chopped Pepperoni (optional)

1 Loaf Italian or French Bread, Sliced

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. In shallow 1-quart casserole, combine soup mix, sour cream, ricotta cheese, 3/4 cup mozzarella cheese and pepperoni.
2. Sprinkle with remaining 1/4 cup mozzarella cheese.
3. Bake uncovered, 30 minutes or until heated through. Serve with bread.

Beefy Taco Dip

1 pound ground beef

1 jar salsa

1 pound Mexican Velveeta cheese -- cubed

Tortilla Chips

Brown beef, crumble into small pieces, and drain. Combine beef, chili, and cheese in slow cooker. Cover.

Cook on low 1 to 1½ hours, or until cheese is melted, stirring occasionally to blend ingredients. Serve warm with tortilla chips.

Real Love Waits

We spent the better part of the week between Christmas and New Years at our friends house in Havelock, NC. While we were there we attended an Oyster Roast/ECU Bowl Game Party. At this party we met a young girl who is a freshman in College. She told Joe and I all about how she wears a purity ring and how much she values her own purity. I am not going to lie...Joe and I were both surprised at how willing this young lady, who never met us before, was so willing to have this type of conversation with us. She was at the party with her parents and Joe had spent the better part of the day speaking with her dad. She and her mom came to the party later on.

As we stood their listening to her - we were also asking the parents, what was your trick? What did you do to help her understand how to value herself in this way? Then it hit me...her dad had to be showing her a real life example on how she should be treated. I made sure to tell him that too. I truly am a firm believer in the fact that a dad can really set the tone for the type of treatment his daughter will expect from someone she dates and then her husband.

This young lady told us how it isn't always easy but she tries to spend her time with friends who have a similar outlook on things like this. She doesn't exclude people from her life...but she does spend more time with people "like her."

At one point I thought Joe was going to hug the life out of this poor girl - he was so overwhelmingly impressed with her. And trust me, if you really know Joe, you know he just doesn't randomly hug young girls.

I asked her to let me see her ring. The inscription on it was "Real Love Waits" - I looked at her and said - "It really will. I know I have just met you but I just want to say one thing to you. I know it will not always be easy for you but remember that this is one of the most valuable gifts you can give to someone...and once you give it, you can't get it back. Continue to look for someone who sees and values purity in the same way that you do."

Meeting this young lady was possibly the highlight of our week - it was all about her willingness to share her reasoning behind her choices with 2 adults that she just met. To me it said a lot about her character as well as her parents. They were a great family who we feel blessed to have met.

We pray that years from now Danielle will be having a conversations like this with people.

Relationship Fact for Parents

During the Sun Stand Still series at our church (Elevation) one of the things that Pastor Steven said that had the biggest impact on me was:

The fact is ______ might be in a relationship that you don't want her/him to be in, but the reality is that God can pull her/him right back to where she should be...just ask Him.

I have several teenage nieces and nephews and children of our close friends who have entered the dating world. Sometimes it is going great...sometimes not so much. I sit back and watch the parents and it is clearly one of the hardest things to watch your child deal with, without being overbearing and therefore pushing your child away. The sentence above suggests that as parents we pray for and over our children when we know they are in a relationship that is bad for them rather than have a power struggle in our home. This of course is as long as they are truly not in harms way. You see, God has an amazing ability to help us and to open our children's eyes in ways we can't.

Before I met Joe I was in a relationship that was not one my parents cared for me to be in. I knew it...yet they never harped on it. My dad would wait for the perfect opportunites to point things out to me and then sit back and wait to see if my eyes would open on their own. (I am sure there was praying involved) This time frame and the way my parents handled it will forever be etched in my mind...oh and did I mention this relationship went on for years??? The end result was harsh...he was diagnosed with cancer when I was a freshman in college, I went with him daily to his radiation treatments at Sloan Kettering in NYC after my classes. Yes, my grades started to slip...but my parents never waivered in their support of me. In the end he decided to break up with me when his treatment was complete...(he went into remission and is still doing fine he has a wife and kids) right as I failed 2 classes and lost my scholarship. Here is where I hope to mirror my parents...they never, ever, ever said a word to me about losing the scholarship - and my family did need it, I was the first of 4 kids they would be helping go to college. They put my "broken heart" first, even though they were never big fans of the relationship.

After a few months he decided to try to call me again...at this point I was stronger, and all of the points my dad made to me along the way during that relationship had finally sunk it. So "on my own" (or at least I thought so) I had decided this was not the relationship I needed to be in.

Was it a case of growing up...or answered prayers??? I don't know, but what I am sure of is God knew I had learned from this relationship and that my dad set an amazing example of what a man should be like and treat me like and he sent my blessing right too me. I transferred to a less expensive college and met Joe right before I started there...and he was already attending that college.

It may not always be easy for you to sit back and watch your children date someone you don't think is the best choice...but take your case to a higher power instead of having a constant power struggle in your life.

My favorite notes...

I have been looking through my sermon notes so I thought I would share a few of my favorites.

I grew up Catholic so we did not "take notes" - the following quote is the first note I ever wrote:

"The way you perceive someone is the way you receive them."

Now a few more you may enjoy:

"You really can't be anything you want to be, but you can be great at exactly what God wants you to be."

"Sacrifice - giving up something great for something better that God has for you."

"God never calls you to give up something that he will not replace with and upgrade."

"Jesus doesn't judge you on the size of your gift, but rather the size of your sacrifice."

"There is no area in your life that is outside of Gods expertise."

"Your greatest weakness is Gods greatest opportunity to show his strength and power."

"The most powerful sin in your life is the one you haven't confessed yet."

"You can't experience victory if you don't face the enemy."

"Step into someone elses crisis and share Gods word."

"Security comes from the inside out, not externally."

"To live in peace with someone is not to live in partnership with them."

I would love for you to share one of your favorites with me.

Thoughtful Gifts

I absolutely love giving gifts. I try very hard to pick something meaningful and specific for the receipient.

This year I received 2 gifts that were so "ME" and so thoughtful!!!

I love to cook, bake and entertain. My goddaughter, Arianna, gave me a gift that was tailored to mine and her love of baking. She gave me a christmas photo holder that already had a picture of her holding cookies she had made and she was in her chef hat and apron. Along with that she gave me some fresh home made cookies, a cook book that is specifically geared towards cookie exchanges and a towel that matched the photo holder. It meant the world to me...simple, yet extremely thoughtful, and the thoughtfulness made me feel very special.

I also took part in a secret santa gift exchange this season. My friend, Nicole, covered all of my favorite things! In my gift bag I found:
2 Picture Frames (I love photography)
A stainless steel spoon rest/stand (I love to cook)
3 Chocolate Bars (self explainatory)
12 ice shot glasses (We love to entertain)
A Starbucks Gift Card (so that something in the bag would be just for me)

Again - all simple items but collectively an amazingly thoughtful gift!!!

I thanked them both more than once and I truly hope they both know how special these gifts made me feel.

The moral of my story is...it is not the money spent on a gift that matters...it is the thought you put behind it.

A moment in time

I am continually amazed at how a song can take us back to a very specific moment in time, good or bad.

I have experienced this often and actually had a moment just like this when I was taking Danielle to the orthodontist the other day.

Here is how it happened...

The topic on the radio was "What is your favorite non-lyric in a song that is made/sung by the singer or another member of the band?" Lots of great answers were being phoned in and I was really enjoying it. Then it happened...someone called in and said "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" you know it:

We-de-de-de

De-de-de-de

De-we-um-um-a-way

We-de-de-de

De-de-de-de

We-um-um-a-way

That was it for me...I immediately looked at Danielle and started crying. You see back in September 2010 our family and another family went to Disney World. We spent one day at The Animal Kingdom...one of our favorite shows there is "Festival of The Lion King." During the show when they sing this particular song they pick children from all throughout the audience and form a parade where they all sing and dance along. This time as the parade was forming one of the characters from the show approached a family sitting at the bottom of our section and asked if he could take their special needs son along with him in the parade. The boy was in a wheel chair and clearly needs lots of help...which is what prompted the cast member to ask his parents if it would be alright. All of this happened in about 5 seconds and the boy and cast member were on their way and in the parade. The boy was smiling from ear to ear, the cast member had a smile just as big as he pushed the wheel chair and...Me, Joe and our friend Lisa were all shedding tears - what a moment for all of us to see. YES, I realize moments like this happen, especially at Disney...but our moment was extended as we ended up being right next to this family as we exited the theater. The parents were so excited for their son and we could see how choked up they were over everything that just took place.

I have many very special Disney moments...and many songs that take me back to a special or not so special place in time...but rest assured any time I hear The Lion Sleeps Tonight I will think of this boy and his family, the cast member whos face is forever etched in my mind and my husbands reaction and how moved he was by something so simple.

Danielle was so moved by our moment in the car as I explained to her why I teared up that she is the one who just suggested I blog about it.