Real Love Waits

We spent the better part of the week between Christmas and New Years at our friends house in Havelock, NC. While we were there we attended an Oyster Roast/ECU Bowl Game Party. At this party we met a young girl who is a freshman in College. She told Joe and I all about how she wears a purity ring and how much she values her own purity. I am not going to lie...Joe and I were both surprised at how willing this young lady, who never met us before, was so willing to have this type of conversation with us. She was at the party with her parents and Joe had spent the better part of the day speaking with her dad. She and her mom came to the party later on.

As we stood their listening to her - we were also asking the parents, what was your trick? What did you do to help her understand how to value herself in this way? Then it hit me...her dad had to be showing her a real life example on how she should be treated. I made sure to tell him that too. I truly am a firm believer in the fact that a dad can really set the tone for the type of treatment his daughter will expect from someone she dates and then her husband.

This young lady told us how it isn't always easy but she tries to spend her time with friends who have a similar outlook on things like this. She doesn't exclude people from her life...but she does spend more time with people "like her."

At one point I thought Joe was going to hug the life out of this poor girl - he was so overwhelmingly impressed with her. And trust me, if you really know Joe, you know he just doesn't randomly hug young girls.

I asked her to let me see her ring. The inscription on it was "Real Love Waits" - I looked at her and said - "It really will. I know I have just met you but I just want to say one thing to you. I know it will not always be easy for you but remember that this is one of the most valuable gifts you can give to someone...and once you give it, you can't get it back. Continue to look for someone who sees and values purity in the same way that you do."

Meeting this young lady was possibly the highlight of our week - it was all about her willingness to share her reasoning behind her choices with 2 adults that she just met. To me it said a lot about her character as well as her parents. They were a great family who we feel blessed to have met.

We pray that years from now Danielle will be having a conversations like this with people.

Relationship Fact for Parents

During the Sun Stand Still series at our church (Elevation) one of the things that Pastor Steven said that had the biggest impact on me was:

The fact is ______ might be in a relationship that you don't want her/him to be in, but the reality is that God can pull her/him right back to where she should be...just ask Him.

I have several teenage nieces and nephews and children of our close friends who have entered the dating world. Sometimes it is going great...sometimes not so much. I sit back and watch the parents and it is clearly one of the hardest things to watch your child deal with, without being overbearing and therefore pushing your child away. The sentence above suggests that as parents we pray for and over our children when we know they are in a relationship that is bad for them rather than have a power struggle in our home. This of course is as long as they are truly not in harms way. You see, God has an amazing ability to help us and to open our children's eyes in ways we can't.

Before I met Joe I was in a relationship that was not one my parents cared for me to be in. I knew it...yet they never harped on it. My dad would wait for the perfect opportunites to point things out to me and then sit back and wait to see if my eyes would open on their own. (I am sure there was praying involved) This time frame and the way my parents handled it will forever be etched in my mind...oh and did I mention this relationship went on for years??? The end result was harsh...he was diagnosed with cancer when I was a freshman in college, I went with him daily to his radiation treatments at Sloan Kettering in NYC after my classes. Yes, my grades started to slip...but my parents never waivered in their support of me. In the end he decided to break up with me when his treatment was complete...(he went into remission and is still doing fine he has a wife and kids) right as I failed 2 classes and lost my scholarship. Here is where I hope to mirror my parents...they never, ever, ever said a word to me about losing the scholarship - and my family did need it, I was the first of 4 kids they would be helping go to college. They put my "broken heart" first, even though they were never big fans of the relationship.

After a few months he decided to try to call me again...at this point I was stronger, and all of the points my dad made to me along the way during that relationship had finally sunk it. So "on my own" (or at least I thought so) I had decided this was not the relationship I needed to be in.

Was it a case of growing up...or answered prayers??? I don't know, but what I am sure of is God knew I had learned from this relationship and that my dad set an amazing example of what a man should be like and treat me like and he sent my blessing right too me. I transferred to a less expensive college and met Joe right before I started there...and he was already attending that college.

It may not always be easy for you to sit back and watch your children date someone you don't think is the best choice...but take your case to a higher power instead of having a constant power struggle in your life.

My favorite notes...

I have been looking through my sermon notes so I thought I would share a few of my favorites.

I grew up Catholic so we did not "take notes" - the following quote is the first note I ever wrote:

"The way you perceive someone is the way you receive them."

Now a few more you may enjoy:

"You really can't be anything you want to be, but you can be great at exactly what God wants you to be."

"Sacrifice - giving up something great for something better that God has for you."

"God never calls you to give up something that he will not replace with and upgrade."

"Jesus doesn't judge you on the size of your gift, but rather the size of your sacrifice."

"There is no area in your life that is outside of Gods expertise."

"Your greatest weakness is Gods greatest opportunity to show his strength and power."

"The most powerful sin in your life is the one you haven't confessed yet."

"You can't experience victory if you don't face the enemy."

"Step into someone elses crisis and share Gods word."

"Security comes from the inside out, not externally."

"To live in peace with someone is not to live in partnership with them."

I would love for you to share one of your favorites with me.

Thoughtful Gifts

I absolutely love giving gifts. I try very hard to pick something meaningful and specific for the receipient.

This year I received 2 gifts that were so "ME" and so thoughtful!!!

I love to cook, bake and entertain. My goddaughter, Arianna, gave me a gift that was tailored to mine and her love of baking. She gave me a christmas photo holder that already had a picture of her holding cookies she had made and she was in her chef hat and apron. Along with that she gave me some fresh home made cookies, a cook book that is specifically geared towards cookie exchanges and a towel that matched the photo holder. It meant the world to me...simple, yet extremely thoughtful, and the thoughtfulness made me feel very special.

I also took part in a secret santa gift exchange this season. My friend, Nicole, covered all of my favorite things! In my gift bag I found:
2 Picture Frames (I love photography)
A stainless steel spoon rest/stand (I love to cook)
3 Chocolate Bars (self explainatory)
12 ice shot glasses (We love to entertain)
A Starbucks Gift Card (so that something in the bag would be just for me)

Again - all simple items but collectively an amazingly thoughtful gift!!!

I thanked them both more than once and I truly hope they both know how special these gifts made me feel.

The moral of my story is...it is not the money spent on a gift that matters...it is the thought you put behind it.

A moment in time

I am continually amazed at how a song can take us back to a very specific moment in time, good or bad.

I have experienced this often and actually had a moment just like this when I was taking Danielle to the orthodontist the other day.

Here is how it happened...

The topic on the radio was "What is your favorite non-lyric in a song that is made/sung by the singer or another member of the band?" Lots of great answers were being phoned in and I was really enjoying it. Then it happened...someone called in and said "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" you know it:

We-de-de-de

De-de-de-de

De-we-um-um-a-way

We-de-de-de

De-de-de-de

We-um-um-a-way

That was it for me...I immediately looked at Danielle and started crying. You see back in September 2010 our family and another family went to Disney World. We spent one day at The Animal Kingdom...one of our favorite shows there is "Festival of The Lion King." During the show when they sing this particular song they pick children from all throughout the audience and form a parade where they all sing and dance along. This time as the parade was forming one of the characters from the show approached a family sitting at the bottom of our section and asked if he could take their special needs son along with him in the parade. The boy was in a wheel chair and clearly needs lots of help...which is what prompted the cast member to ask his parents if it would be alright. All of this happened in about 5 seconds and the boy and cast member were on their way and in the parade. The boy was smiling from ear to ear, the cast member had a smile just as big as he pushed the wheel chair and...Me, Joe and our friend Lisa were all shedding tears - what a moment for all of us to see. YES, I realize moments like this happen, especially at Disney...but our moment was extended as we ended up being right next to this family as we exited the theater. The parents were so excited for their son and we could see how choked up they were over everything that just took place.

I have many very special Disney moments...and many songs that take me back to a special or not so special place in time...but rest assured any time I hear The Lion Sleeps Tonight I will think of this boy and his family, the cast member whos face is forever etched in my mind and my husbands reaction and how moved he was by something so simple.

Danielle was so moved by our moment in the car as I explained to her why I teared up that she is the one who just suggested I blog about it.