Unwritten

This morning I heard the song "Unwritten" by Natasha Bettingfield - then I experienced a wave of emotions that I sure wasn't planning on from one little song.

It started with me thinking of my niece Amber and how she would turn purple when she used to sing this song because the chorus is so long....

That went to "how can she be starting middle school this year???" and of course tears....

Which were followed by "Christina (my oldest niece) is going to be a senior in highschool and a year from now she could be going away to college" more tears....

Then "Devin (my oldest nephew) is starting High School this year!!!" really, can that be??? I still see him all chubby full of rolls walking around in his diaper....

Moving onto "Kayla and Taylor (my 15 year old nieces) are learning how to drive - didn't they just learn how to walk???"

If you follow my blog you know that I have 13 nieces and nephews ranging in age from 2 - 17. I love them like they are my own and I pray for all of them. I pray in life the mistakes they do make will be ones that are easy to recover from and not ones that will haunt them.

I pray that like the song says they realize that if they do make a mistake, tomorrow is a different day, a fresh start, a clean slate to start over and re-write their "book" so it has the ending they want it to have. It is never to late for change. I also pray that they (and all of the adults in their lives) realize that they are the only person who can write their book. We (as adults) all have advice and life lessons to share with them and hopefully they learn from them. The hardest part about loving these kids (as their Aunt or Parent) is realizing they do need to make some decisions on their own and that they will make mistakes. All we can do is pray that all we have shared will influence the decisions they make.

My thoughts this morning focused on the older grouping of kids in my family - not because I don't care/worry as much about the younger ones but because I feel like the older ones will be faced with so many challenges and choices in the near future - and like I said, I pray their future is bright and all they want it to be.


I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

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On the beach in Jamaica


Private Dinner for Two


Beautiful Jamaican Ocean

We are blessed to have them....

In following with my previous post, I have another vacation story to share.....

While sitting at the pool one day I was "people watching" and I saw 2 women about my moms age (66) and they had 2 young girls with them who were about Danielle's age (9). Immediately I thought of my mom and her friend who take their grandkids to Myrtle Beach together annually for some summer fun.

One of the little girls was more quiet than the other but eventually all of the kids were playing together. I loved seeing Danielle and Joseph having so much fun with these two girls and the other three kids that had joined in to play with them.

At one point the two ladies and I were all near the vending machine that was at the pool. So I asked them if their girls were cousins? They both said no, well yeah may as well be.... And here is how it went from there:

"The two of us have been friends for years, many years since we taught together."

"Oh, my mom is a preschool teacher - and she loves working with kids."

"Really, we are in SC where is your mom from?"

"We live in Charlotte and she decided she wanted to back to work so she is at a Church preschool."

"We met these two girls through our jobs and we both adopted. We have really been raising kids our whole lives, my oldest is 40!!!"

Then they went on to tell me a little background on their families and how they have each (seperately) raised grandkids, friends kids, and kids who just needed LOVE. They each told me how long the girls I had met had been with them etc.... One was from birth and the other was from a preschool age.

As we were walking back to our lounge chairs I said to them "your girls are very blessed to have you."

One of the ladies stopped, looked at me and said "We are very blessed to have them..."

That made me think the girls were even more blessed. They have moms who cherish them and realize what a blessing it is to have a child.

Didn't I meet some AWESOME people on this trip???

Luck of the seat

A few weeks back Joe and I went on vacation with our kids. The place we were staying gave us tickets to a dinner show. The show was great and we all really enjoyed it - but I walked away with so much more than a good meal and show.

The 4 people to the right of me were 3 older people and a young girl. When I say older it is not because I am young - it will play into my story....

As we were sitting before the show started I struck up a conversation with the gentleman that was right next to me. They were all from Atlanta but him and his wife met here in Charlotte at Johnson C. Smith University. We chatted for a while and they were asking me if I knew certain people they knew that worked for the County/City. Of course we talked CIAA as well!!! They were so nice and personable and those who know me - know I love to talk to new people.

At one point I asked them who the lucky little girl at the end of the row was??? It was the other ladies granddaughter and she is 6 years old. They then started telling me how their friend takes this little girl where ever she can and how she spends so much of her time with her. They were wondering/hoping out loud if the little girl would appreciate all of this as she got older. The show started and we all settled in to watch.

Throughout the entire show I was thinking about what they said. I was flooded by so many great memories of all that my grandmother (Nanny Connie) did with and for me. Nanny Connie never had a lot of money but she was so giving of her time - and that was so much more important. She lived in Brooklyn and would take turns having each of her grandchildren come for a week in the summer. She made dresses and knit sweater and blankets for us and our children. When Joe and I got married she came to help me set up my kitchen and showed me where to place everything so it would be easy to reach while I cooked. She would sit on the floor - well into her 80's - and push cars around with Little Joe - and she always let Danielle help her cook. Just that one sentence from them triggered all of these memories and so many more.

When the show was over, I stopped before we were leaving and told the couple that they brought back so many great memories about my grandmother for me. I told them that what their friend and they were doing with and for this little girl would be something she would always remember and be grateful for - I did tear up a little but I was not ashamed I wanted them to know their significance in the girls life. They were so thankful that I stopped and let them know that. We all enjoyed each others company that night - and we all benefited from being seated next to each other.

God With Us

This is the new CD released by the amazing worship team at Elevation Church. It is 12 songs written and sung by the worship leaders; Wade Joye, Chris Brown and Mack Brown. Everyone of these guys is amazingly talented when it comes to singing the Lord's praises!!!

Here is what I love about the CD, 2 of the songs were written when Wade & Ferris's twin girls decided to join the world 3 months early. When I say they beat all odd's - you have no idea until you read/hear their whole story. The other songs just move me in ways I can't explain - we have been learning the songs for weeks at Church and I feel like I can relate to all of them. Some help me with my own life situations, some remind me of how God holds onto us and helps us through everything and some encourage me to reach out to friends or family who are needing to know God is with them.

My absolute favorite thing about the CD is when I am playing it in our family room or my mini-van and I look up and my 11 year old niece, 9 year old daughter and 7 year old son are singing their hearts out and they know everyword!!!

I am already looking forward to their next CD.

What I Would Have Said.....

On Wednesday, July 1, 2009, my father-in-law passed away. It was what I would call unexpectedly. He went in for a test on Friday, June 19th, and that test indicated he was sicker than we all thought. After what felt like a rollercoaster ride from 6/19 - 7/1 he went home to be with the Lord. I feel like I was so busy trying to help everyone that I didn't allow myself time to grieve. The memorial service was on the 4th of July. My mom and Danielle and Joseph left for Myrtle Beach on Monday the 6th and I spent the better part of that day crying - it finally all caught up with me...

Several family members spoke at the service - something I normally would have been very comfortable doing - but for some reason I just couldn't stand up and speak. I won't regret that I didn't because for the most part I wear my heart on my sleeve so people generally know how I feel about them. I did want to "memorialize" him in some way to help through my grieving so I have decided to write about some of my memories over the years:

My mother-in-law (Nanny Pat) met Nat (Poppy) when Joe and I were 18. She didn't really date after Joe's dad passed (when Joe was 5) until her kids were well into teenage years and grown-up. Poppy used to bring her a single rose when he would pick her up.

I remember when Nanny & Poppy walked into the house and I saw the engagment ring on her hand - I jumped up in excitement.

I remember crying so much as they had their first dance at their wedding reception (You are my lady by Airsupply) that my dad finally said to me "Why are you crying so much?" and I said "I am just so happy for them."

I remember when my own dad died and one of Poppy's friends asked me how my parents were (it was literally one day after we buried my dad) and I couldn't bare to say the words so Poppy jumped in and told them what happened. He lifted more off of me then he could have imagined.

I remember watching him with Christina, Kayla and Taylor when they were babies - he was always trying to make them laugh. He would do anything for the kids including baby-sit with Nanny anytime they were needed.

I remember when they would come to Charlotte to visit Joe and I before they moved here - Nanny always called Danielle "Her Southern Belle" and there was Poppy - "Danielle, that is an ugly dress, where did you get it?" because he knew she was going to say "No Poppy, my dress is not ugly!"

I remember how everytime I saw him he asked about my entire family - how is your mother, grandmother, Aunt Rose, does your brother like his new job, how are your sisters kids doing, and so on.

I remember how as soon as he walked in our house he would say "Roseann, did you make coffee???" And my mom always had it ready for him.

I remember how the first time people would meet him they would think (by his appearance) that he was tough but when they got to know him and when they saw him with his grandkids they knew he wasn't.

In summary I will always hold in my heart that Poppy loved all of us and our kids as if we were his own - I only wish (to quote Little Joe) that he (Little Joe) had known Poppy for more than 7 years.