They like me...they really like me...

Actress Sally Fields said these or very similar words after winning an Academy Award. I am at a point in my life right now where I feel like I can understand what she meant.

Although I am fully grown, there are times I wonder, "Are they really my friend?", "Can I trust them?", "Should I be doing all I am for them...does it matter, are they using me, do they appreciate it?"

Many of these things seem childish and immature to me as I type them...but I can't lie, my heart hurts sometimes when I am really feeling any of the above. I would say at least 90% of the time I can "talk myself down" and get myself in check pretty quickly, or at least after talking with Joe about my feelings.

My biggest struggle is not changing who I am because I am feeling these things. Not easy right? Luckily life has taught me things and for the most part I am who I am no matter what. It is certainly harder on some days - but as I look back on my life I hope I will be able to say that I did not lower my own personal standards based on the way someone treated me. I also hope I don't look back and feel like I was a door mat either.

Happy Birthday Little, I Mean Super Medium Joe

At this exact moment (7:57 am) 9 years ago my baby came into the world. It was quite an entrance and he has been responsible for remarkable moments and memories ever since. It is my prayer that his faith and heart stay exactly the way they are today. For a young child he is unbelievably intune with peoples emotions and feelings and the kind of person God wants him to be. He sits each week listening to Pastor Steven preach and when we get in the car he can have a full out conversation with you about the message. And months later he will go right back to something that moved him and start talking about it again or use it in context with what is going on in his life. He is "age appropriate" and doesn't try to be all grown-up. He loves to soak up the moment and take it all in. Everyday I am thankful for the son that God chose for me...and I do my best to let Joseph know how much he means to me and how blessed I feel to be his mom. Joseph - I hope you have the best birthday and that you live life on your terms and remain true to who you are. I love you!!!

Dedication

Last weekend I had the honor and privilege of chaperoning Danielle and three other girls from her dance studio, along with the studio owner, on a trip to Atlanta, GA for a dance convention. The girls teacher feels that conventions are very important as you get exposed to different teaching styles and different choreography. The convention was open to all the dancers in the studio and these 4 girls made the trip. (The entire studio attended a convention here in Charlotte back in the fall) I was so impressed by the behavior, manners and really just the way the other three girls carried themselves while away from their families. When we returned home I made sure to e-mail all of the other mothers and let them know how well their girls represent their parents and upbringing. Another thing I was totally impressed by was the dedication and determination shown not just by the girls we traveled with...but by at least 90% of the dancers that were at this convention. Conventions are very different than competitions in that no one is "there to win." Everyone is there to learn and better themselves. All the kids were working hard, cheering each other on, complimenting each other and basically just doing what they love. Watching a room filled several hundred dancers all between the ages of 11-14 learning choreography from some of the biggest names in the dance world was so cool for me. When they all get the dance and start doing it together it is like a "flash mob" and I loved it!!! As I was watching all weekend I was also thinking that these kids have amazing dedication to dance. It is something the truly love and want to do. Danielle is at dance about 5 times a week and she never, ever says "I don't want to go." Joe and I are impressed watching her learn time management with school and homework so that she doesn't have to miss dance. As she gets older not only will the time management be a great tool in life for her...but as her parents knowing where she is and who she is with will provide great piece of mind. Here are a few shots from our weekend:

The Pulse On Tour - convention we attended Michaels, Danielle, Naijha and Bria on the first morning...ready to go Michaela and Danielle

Naijha and Bria

Mother/Daughter Shot

Danielle and Naijha

Checking in with Charlotte

Bria, Tyce Diorio, Danielle Naijha and Michaela

Let the little children come to me...

Mark 10:14 says "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."

Joe and I have been blessed for years to be surrounded by children who we love. As you know we have 2 of our own, Danielle (11) and Joseph (8), and then we have many others in our life who we love with all of our hearts.

All of these children have brought us happiness, sadness (when they were hurting) and even tears (both of joy and pain) but our lives are so much richer for it. When Joe and I reflect on some of our favorite memories of our times together (24 years of dating and marriage now) 90% of them include these children. We surrounded ourselves with babies, toddlers and small children long before we had kids of our own...it was something we loved to do - and we still do.

Now we have teenagers, pre-teens, young kids, toddlers and babies to spend time with...nothing puts a smile on my face quicker than our yard being full of kids all playing together and having a good time.

God has been very good to us by continually letting the little children come to us.

Here is our newest addition...just a month shy of her first birthday.

Legacy of Love

Joe and I both got notes from Danielle at the dinner table on Valentine's Day. We BOTH were choked up and moved by what she wrote. Of course there is humor in the notes as well. Here is what they said:

5 Favorite Things About Dad

1. His sense of humor
2. Being the ultimate dance dad
3. The way we both sniffle
4. When you do the fist pump
5. The love and support to others

Dad - I love you so much no matter what happens don't forget that. Also, like I said, being the ultimate dance dad because most dad's don't take the time to sit at a dance competition but you never left and that means the world to me!

Love ya, Danielle


5 Favorite Things About Mom

1. Her great support
2. Her bond with her family
3. Her amazing love and care
4. That no matter what I do bad she will always forgive me
5. Her love and support to the Church and God

Mom - I love you with all my heart and no matter what ridiculous thing I am giving you an attitude about I am never really mad at you, I'm just being dumb and never forget that! Also mom that you for all your support with dance, you have NO idea how much I appreciate that also with school - you never say no when I ask you for help with homework and when ever I have something at school you are there!

Love ya, Danielle

As a parent my true hearts desire is for my legacy to be that "I was there" when Danielle or Joseph needed me. Could I have a higher powered position than the one I have at my current job, absolutely...but it would be at the expense of my family. I have one of the best bosses that a mother of two could ask for. He is flexible with me (and my co-workers) to the best of his ability and in turn we do not abuse that privilege. I want my kids to see me do for them and others with ease and joy...it is more important to me than "my title" at work or a higher salary.

I have one shot at being the best parent I can possibly be - and when my kids look back on their upbringing I want them to be able to say "my mom was there when..."

These notes meant the world to us...much more than anything store bought for sure!!!

Sissy Love

Continuing on with spreading the love yesterday...Joseph had this on Danielle's plate at dinner last night!!!

True Love

I woke up this morning and found this note taped to the mirror in my bathroom!!! What a great way to start my Valentine's Day. Lil Joe just called me to be sure I found it...a son with a good heart is truly a gift.