In my 41 years I have seen more people than I care to remember lose their minds after the loss of a loved one. I say lose their minds...I mean in the sense of what they believe they are entitled to and what is "rightfully theirs." The truth is none of it was theirs in the first place - it belonged to their loved one who had the right to do whatever they wanted to do with it. Most of the time people are fighting over money, property, jewelry and high dollar value items. For what??? They are all material and not going to bring the person back...and if you had the kind of relationship you should have had with them you have all you need in your cherished memories.
I am glad to say that thus far my family has not had a falling out over something like this. We have unfortunately experienced big losses - but we never fought over things afterwards. I hope it stays that way.
The best example I can think of is when my grandmother (Nanny Connie) passed away, we didn't argue, we each had things that we wanted that were hers and we pretty much just let each other take what they wanted. My sister Colleen is the only grandchild with "C" as the first letter of her name so anything that my grandmother had with "C" (gold chain with a script initial) went to Colleen. She also had a beautiful white gold very short chain with a heart in the middle - Colleen put it on right after she passed away and still wears it often. My brother wanted old family photo albums from when our grandfather was in WWII so he got those. My sister Pattie got her engagement and wedding ring.
My mother-in-law always wanted a Pasta Serving Bowl and Sauce Pitcher/Server that my grandmother had made in ceramics class years and years ago...she has it and uses it each time she serves pasta.
My friend Daryl had one of my grandmothers Tupperware and to this day she will not give it back to me. She said she likes it at her house and when I come over and help put stuff away after dinner we always have something to talk about.
My friend Tina learned a lot about being Catholic and "The Blessed Mother" from Nanny Connie...so when Nanny passed we gave Tina her Blessed Mother statue and it sits proudly in the front room of her house.
I have the sweater she wore everyday...I alternate hanging it in my kids closet because I feel like she is watching over them.
Her are some pictures of things that were hers that are now mine...truly the best inheritance we all have is the WONDERFUL memories of her.
This round pan has been used more times than any of us can remember. Each time I take it out I see my grandmother's hand holding it and putting it in the oven.
This roasting pan was not only my grandmothers, it was her mothers!!! Yes the sides are "seasoned" but the pan itself represents holidays and family dinners that we all enjoyed.
My grandmother had 6 grandchildren and for as long as I can remember she had this 6 photo thing on display on the dresser in her bedroom. When she passed I took it and put it on my dresser in our bedroom. Still the same photos that she chose all those years ago. My son loves this thing...I will pass it onto him. He loves to tell me how cute I was or how much Aunt Colleen and Aunt Pattie looked alike or how it looks like Aunt Pattie is trying to peak at Christmas presents. A very small and simple item...but it fills many hearts.
I am on the left and my sister Pattie on the right.
My sister Colleen is on the left and my brother Danny on the right.
My cousin Jamie is on the left and his sister, my cousin Nicole on the right.
Top of my dresser...honoring my grandmother.
I wish people would stop for a minute and think about what is really important when they lose a loved one...even if I didn't have any of the things I mention above...I would still have the greatest inheritance and one that no one could take from me or say wasn't mine...All of the wonderful memories that I hold so dear and close to my heart. THAT is worth more than anything people will fight over.
