They like me...they really like me...

Actress Sally Fields said these or very similar words after winning an Academy Award. I am at a point in my life right now where I feel like I can understand what she meant.

Although I am fully grown, there are times I wonder, "Are they really my friend?", "Can I trust them?", "Should I be doing all I am for them...does it matter, are they using me, do they appreciate it?"

Many of these things seem childish and immature to me as I type them...but I can't lie, my heart hurts sometimes when I am really feeling any of the above. I would say at least 90% of the time I can "talk myself down" and get myself in check pretty quickly, or at least after talking with Joe about my feelings.

My biggest struggle is not changing who I am because I am feeling these things. Not easy right? Luckily life has taught me things and for the most part I am who I am no matter what. It is certainly harder on some days - but as I look back on my life I hope I will be able to say that I did not lower my own personal standards based on the way someone treated me. I also hope I don't look back and feel like I was a door mat either.